Failure of Communication
by aiupenn
Summary: Doppo is such a sucker for discounts he doesn't ask questions when Chuuya mentions a Valentine's Day one at the cafe down the street. He should've, becuase it's a couples only discount and Chuuya seems determined to get it.


[a/n: Okay, so this fic requires more backstory than a one-shot really should.  
I have a long-fic in the works where both Chuuya and Kunikida nurse a crush over Dazai and have Hanahaki as a result. When they figure this out, they start a friends with benefits relationship where they pretend to be Dazai for the one another to curb some of the symptoms. Of course, drama ensues when they fall for each other. Anyways, this little fic is set firmly after they've fallen in love, but before either of them have admitted it in fear of losing what they already have. I hope that wasn't too long an explanation...]

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"There's a discount at the café down the street," Chuuya says as he absentmindedly picks at the lint on the bed sheet.

"We'll go there today then," Doppo says without hesitation. He sweeps up his hair into it's ponytail quickly, and stands to put on his shirt.

Chuuya looks about to say something, but he stops himself. He plants his hat on his head. "Let's go then."

Doppo puzzles at him a moment longer, feeling like there's something Chuuya was hiding. But what could he be hiding by a discount?

The café was a little farther than Chuuya had let on, but it was still 'down the street' if you stretched the definition a bit, so that probably wasn't it.

Doppo was trying very hard not to notice the Valentine's Day decorations littering every shop window. Valentine's Day had never been a particularly pleasant holiday for him. He always seemed to end up falling for the people who would never fall for him in return. It's why he had a list of what he should be looking for in a partner. If he found someone matching those characteristics, he really had no reason not to try and then at least he wouldn't die alone.

"You look like you've swallowed sour grapes," Chuuya said, glancing over to Doppo.

Doppo immediately tried to smooth his face into something more unreadable, even though it was too late. Leave it to Chuuya to be observant. "Just a headache," he says dismissively.

Chuuya didn't believe him. He could tell by the look on his face. But he also didn't push for any more answers. They don't talk again until they got settled down at a seat in the café.

Doppo's eyes nearly bulge out of his head. "It says this is a couples discount," he hisses across the table.

Chuuya doesn't even glance up. "There's two of us. We're a couple."

Doppo hates the way his heart stops dead in his chest at the words. He has to use quite a bit of willpower to get it beating again. "That's not what it means," he grinds out.

While he knew very well what Chuuya would say next, Doppo's imagination sure didn't. A very masochistic side of his brain conjures images of Chuuya suddenly reaching across the table, grabbing Doppo's hand and declaring his undying love for him right then and there in this stupid little café.

But of course Chuuya doesn't do that. He just shrugs. "It can't be that hard to pretend to be a couple," he says, "We can just hold hands under the table."

Doppo knew he flushed bright red at this because all the heat in his body went straight to his face."I-I will not-" he sputters.

Chuuya gives him a wicked smile and says quietly, "Now, now. We've done a lot worse than that for you to react like that."

Doppo is rightly the color a strawberry when the waiter finally arrives. To his complete horror, Chuuya does just as he suggested and grasps Doppo's hand under the table. He'd love to pull away, but if he was going to have to suffer through this he should get the discount at the very least.

"Can we have the couple's special plate today?" Chuuya says sweetly. He sent a glance to Doppo that cause a shiver to run down his spine. Hell, the waiter would have to be convinced they were a couple because Doppo had almost been convinced himself.

The waiter writes down the order with a smile. "How long have you two been together?"

Doppo wants to bang his head against the table.

"Two months," Chuuya says without hesitation.

"Not out of the honeymoon phase yet, then?" the waiter says and he pokes Doppo in the arm with his pen. "You should stop being so shy when someone likes you this much."

It was all Doppo could do to nod numbly as the waiter finally leaves.

Chuuya's hand slips out of Doppo's and he instantly felt the loss of it. His fingers twich as he daydreams about reaching for it back. If he were a braver man… But he's not brave. He's only desperately in love with a man desperately in love with someone else.

"We're lying ," Doppo whispers in a panic, "What if they catch us?"

"You and your morals," Chuuya says lightly, "They're not gonna haul us off to jail for gaming the system."

"No, they'll do that for the multiple murders," Doppo says sharply. Unfair, he knows, but he's saying it more to remind himself than Chuuya.

Chuuya doesn't say anything for a long moment, but his facial expression doesn't change. It's not an unaffected expression though. It's the face of someone trying to hide his true feelings. Doppo has a flash of guilt. "Name one lie in that entire conversation," Chuuya says.

"We haven't been together for two months."

"Never said we were," Chuuya says, waving a hand dismissively, "He asked how long we'd been together. I told him two months, we met two months ago."

Doppo knows he should bite his tongue, but he couldn't. He licks his lips then says, very quietly, "We didn't meet two months ago."

"Hmmm?" Chuuya says, leaning closer to hear.

Doppo lets out a shaky breath and whispers as loudly as he dares. "We didn't meet two months ago." It shouldn't matter, Doppo knows, but it does. It mattered to him because it had changed his world to meet Chuuya. And he is such a stickler for dates and anniversaries. "That's just when we started our... arrangement."

Nakahara's face seems to fall just a bit and he opens his mouth to say something, only to get interrupted by the waiter returning with their food.

Doppo dug right in, enjoying the almost snack-like foods more than he should. It's been a while since he's indulged in sweets and junk food. It makes him want to melt when the sugar floods his tongue.

He's so excited by it all that it takes him a moment to realize that Chuuya isn't attacking the meal with as much excitement. He just pushes a bite of a heart-shaped pancake around his plate without ever spearing it. It slowly devolves to a series of crumbs.

Doppo swallows his food. "You alright?" he asks.

"Just don't have much of an appetite all of the sudden," Chuuya says, sitting back in his seat and letting the fork fall from his fingers.

Doppo studies him with slight concern. "Something wrong?"

"Remembered something from work, that's all."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Nah," Chuuya says, then he pushes his chair back from the table and stands. His tone and body language were trying to say he doesn't care, but Doppo isn't fooled. There's something wrong. "I'm gonna pay and then take a smoke out front. You finish up."

Doppo watches him go with a slight ache in his heart. Once he's out of sight, he frowns and bites his lip. He should let him be, but... Doppo waves down the waiter. "Can I have a couple boxes?"

The waiter nods promptly and returned a few seconds later. He helps Doppo put the food into them with an increasingly sour look on his face. "Didn't cause an argument did I?" he asks after a minute.

Doppo blinks, then shakes his head. "No."

"Oh thank goodness. He left so suddenly." The waiter hands over the last filled box. "You must love him quite a lot. You've got this look in your eyes."

Doppo sucks in a breath, terrified to learn he's so obvious. Then he throws a nervous glance around to make sure Chuuya is well and truly gone. After he's assured he's safe, he says with deep sincerity, "I do." It's a weight of his chest to say so out loud.

The waiter gives him a smile, then plucks a flower from the vase next to him. "I'm sure you got him something nicer, but an extra gift can't hurt on Valentine's Day."

Doppo sucks in a breath, then smiles in return as he accepts the gift. He nods a goodbye and rushes out the door.

Chuuya had tucked himself into the alley next to the café. He takes a healthy drag of his cigarette before he notices Doppo. Knowing his dislike for the smoke, Chuuya uses his hat to keep it from heading his direction. Doppo can't help but notice the look of disappointment on his face at seeing him. "Thought you'd finish eating," Chuuya says, crushing the cigarette beneath his boot even though it'd only just been lighted.

"That doesn't seem fair when you paid for it," Doppo lies as he sets the boxes on top of a built-in ledge of the building. It was an awful lot of food.

Chuuya just shrugs.

"What's wrong?" Doppo asks again, leaning on the wall next to him. Perhaps it was just his imagination, but he thinks Chuuya leans away from him.

"I really can't talk about it," Chuuya says, looking away.

"Vaguely then."

Chuuya gave a long, almost pained sigh and he turned to step in front of Doppo to look up into his eyes. "I already said I don't want to talk about it."

"Keeping things bottled up can be unhealthy," Doppo points out.

There's a beat of silence before Chuuya sighs again. He seems to relent, as he lets slip a drawn out sigh between his teeth. "Just... sometimes it's hard to keep up appearances, you know."

Doppo nods thoughtfully. "Yeah." Perhaps Chuuya had seen someone he knew in the café. It'd explain why he'd left in such a hurry.

"And then sometimes you're just not up to it after a while," he looks into Doppo's eyes with some sort of meaning behind them. The only problem is that Doppo couldn't quite read it.

They stare at each other for a while longer, a difficult conversation passing between them that no words can convey. Not that Doppo knew exactly what he was trying to convey.

Chuuya jerks his gaze away and lets out a grunt. "I'm tired, Doppo. See you next week," he says tersely. He turns on his heel and takes a step away.

"Wait," Dopp said, snagging Chuuya's sleeve before he'd really thought this through.

Chuuya turns and their faces are mere inches from each other. If Doppo leaned forward even just a little, they could've kissed. He knew this because they'd kissed dozens of times before. He knew the distance between their lips and how long it took to cross it almost intuitively by now. But if they kissed now it would be different because he wouldn't have the excuse of it being for Dazai or the Hanahaki or pure desperation. It would be a real kiss. A kiss two lovers might share. One that meant something.

He didn't realize he'd been moving slowly closer until he could feel Chuuya's breath on his lips. He stops with a start, then leans away as inconspicuously as he can manage. "Take-take care of yourself," he stutters out as he tried to calm the racing heart in his chest. He drops his hold on Chuuya's sleeve, his fingers burning with awareness.

Chuuya lets out a breath. "You too, Doppo," he says, completely without warmth.

And then Doppo's alone in the alleyway, tracing the parts of his lips that Chuuya's breath had touched, trying to hold the feeling there for as long as possible.

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Comments and critique always appreciated.


End file.
